worried mom, If it's any consolation, I think what you're describing sounds still within the realm of normal and age-appropriate. Tongue Ties and Breastfeeding Difficulties, Inside the Park Slope Parents Travel Section, Advice on How to Structure Parental Leave, OBGYNs, Birthing, Fertility & Post-Partum, I Applied to Become a Member and I Haven't Heard Anything, Add your Logo to your PSP Recommendations Listing, Read Our Advertising & Editorial Disclaimer, Adjusting to Daycare: Dealing With Acclimatization Problems. I think she needs to learn that (1) it is inevitable that she will have to leave and (2) when you say you are leaving in 5 minutes, you will leave in 5 minutes. The idea is that the child begins to feel that school is a fun place where I can play and make friends not a scary place where my parents leave me all alone. In our experience, the teachers tried to control one very aggressive child, but didn't seem to recognize how deeply affected our son was. That's a long time, even for a grownup. it can take 3 months for some toddlers to adjust when they go full time so id just give it some more time tbh. Anon, My son was about six months older when he started preschool, but he cried at drop off time for at least the first six week, and then off an on until he turned five. (This is the first time he is away from mom..He has never been to a daycare or had any playdates). If so, I think it's just a question of getting used to the school, and the process of being dropped off, but picked up later. He used to be a very happy kid, so to see him like this is painful. Most schools let the child spend an hour or two at school with mommy, then the next time they come, mommy gives a hug and a bright smile and leaves. There was not an option for me to accompany him to school to get him over the hump, so we just had to leave. When you are on your way to daycare, be sure to give your child the plan for the day: Im going to work, so you get to play with your friends today! But I started feeling guilty and in doubt, which I am sure he picked up on. She sometimes doesn't eat lunch because she's falling asleep - still wanting her morning nap, but she naps will in the afternoon there very well and sits at the table with the big kids to eat and do "crafts." We've tried to be diligent about incorporating and reinforcing the tools across environments and proactively communicating with new teachers. Best of luck! Give yourself grace Another mama to a clingy one, I'm not sure that the approach of staying with the child at school actually works. One more idea: your child is now old enough to be evaluated by your local school district to possibly receive school district-provided OT and/or an aide in her private preschool. I am mainly writing to express my sympathy. Also, there are only 2 other children who go to that preschool since its pretty new (single caregiver, licensed for 8 children). 16 answers. -- another mom. As I said, I have no reservations that he is getting the nurturing and attention he needs during this delicate time, however, when do I start trusting my instinct to really wonder if this is appropriate for him? So sorry to hear about your dilemma. Toddler not adjusting to daycare So today was a super disappointing day. I am sorry your son is struggling with school. son with me who doesn't like to leave either. I'd love to hear from parents who went through this - where did you child ultimately find success? Courtney. Your son's temperament sounds very similar to my daughter's. Your care giver should know that. A contributor wrote that she joked with her kids about them missing her. ''5'' minutes pass (usually more), I tell her it is time to go, she says she's not ready and runs off. He REALLY did not like napping at the day care. We have taken this slowly as he has only been attending half days and we just started naps there. Looking for some sound advice. On the other note regarding Montessori system. It think that the problem is the length of days. They listed different activities (like music, art, gym) and I tried to do activities. I haven't talked abt this to the director.Even if i decide to withdraw my son from the school i have to give them a month's notice (or just pay for the next month and leave).So he has to be there for another a month.So i think it might be bad for my son to tell anything abt the teacher's helper and also the new teacher's way of treating me. I think kids this age are just really sensitive to changes in routine. For a shy introverted 2 1/2 year old a smaller program with a little bit of structure and predictable daily routines may be what he needs. However, it was a much larger place than he had been before, and there was lots of stuff going on. As they settle and gain confidence in their new surroundings, their need for the item gradually decreases and they may just want it at nap time. You can kiss your childs hand, or draw a heart or a smiley face on it, and when the child misses you, they can look at their hand or hold it against their cheek. I don't like doing this, but the longer I stay, the worse it gets when I have to leave. She specializes in kids crafts and activities, easy recipes, and parenting. I am very concerned that she will have a difficult time adjusting to preschool, perhaps more than other kids, because she's never been ''dropped off'' before and left for any reason! She started at daycare about 2 weeks ago. Over a couple of months, we think we identified all of the things in the environment that were upsetting our child. Next up will be asking for new recipes for toddlers with very few teeth and how in the hell people deal with having to get up an extra hour early in the morning to dice fruit and veg etc and pack baby lunches. She told me to be sure that I was totally okay with leaving my daughter at school. Make a plan for walking in, giving mommy and big hug and kiss, and say goodbye, then mommy will be back to pick you up and after school we will go to One last thing that I believe may have been helpful was that we attended two birthday parties for children in the school. That was going on for almost 3 MONTHS. Any advice helps. The daycare lady actually requested . Good luck-it will be great! She is slowly adjusting. Our son had been in part-time daycare since he was about six months old, and his caregivers always reported that he was happy and social. So it isn't the size of the school. Think about the stroller chill time that they don't get at day care - they are on the move! Address: Lot 3-13, Third Floor, 1 Mont Kiara, 1 Jalan Kiara, Mont Kiara, 50480 Kuala Lumpur. I am at a total loss as to what to do. He's been there about 6 months now and doesn't want to leave when I pick him up! Of most concern for me now is how he can most smoothly change his daily routine, and his companions. I don't know if this is at all similar to what's happening with your son, but if there is a younger age class available, it might be worth looking into. She told me that it is usually kids like mine (the no-trouble-at-all kids) who melt down completely during a transition like this, much to everyone's surprise. Her son never cried and felt very comfortableso did I. This morning she reached for one of the caretakers as we walked in the door. Tax ID:46-4347971, About BPN Contact BPN Credits Terms of Use, Connecting Bay Area families online since 1993, Daycares & Preschools with Current Openings, Parent Classes, Workshops & Groups with Openings, Advice about Classes, Camps, Groups, & Tutors, Parents' Anxiety about Starting Preschool, http://www.kendrafrautnick.com/services.html, 3.5 year old having tough time adjusting from half day to full day preschool, Preschool after Separation Anxiety withdrawl, Worried that daughter will have difficult adjustment, 2.4yr old still cries when dropped off at preschool, 3-y-o having a very difficult transition to preschool, 3-year-old son has a meltdown when I leave, 3-year-old doesn't want to go to preschool, Preparing child for transition to preschool, Child taking a long time to adjust to preschool, Personality change after starting preschool. -- can be tough for ANYone regardless of age or temperament. We have a webcam so I watch her throughout the day. In fact, the morning after Thanksgiving vacation, I found him sitting patiently on the steps, waiting for me to get ready so we could go. Between our two kids, we've been at preschool for a bit more than 4.5 years and have seen a lot of children make the adjustment (and have seen a lot of parents leave with tears the first few weeks and smiles after that). If your situation doesn't require that your son be in full-time care, I'd suggest making some changes. If you feel that the preschool is totally wrong for him, then your son needs to change preschools (& perhaps enroll in one that offers a similar environment to his former daycare) as soon as possible for both of your sakes. Thanks so much! It is about a baby racoon who is afraid of going to school and how his Mom comforts him. When my kid was 3, he often tried to run to grab me and cried. As tempting as it may be, leaving without saying goodbye can make kids feel abandoned. Carolyn, You know everything you read and every teacher will tell you ''leave fast, say goodbye and go. On one hand, I suppose it's helpful to hear how this is "normal" to some degree, even if it feels terrible. I do not believe that this ignorance of infant needs is not intentional and is not to hurt or neglect the . Your insurance may have some in-network, though most in the Bay Area seem to be self-pay and then you can try to get reimbursed from your health insurance. Both my children were the same way -- loved it the first week or so than had a tough time for the next two. No excessive politics - Politics are important, but unless it's incredibly relevant to the subject, excessively political posts will be removed. Talk to the director today. I would also make sure you bring comfort items from home. Full day preschool can be exhausting! In my case, I knew I had carefully picked out the preschool that best fit his needs. He now seems to be very cheerful when I pick him up, talks about what he learned, talks about the kids and teachers, and seems excited. Day 4. He's typically an extremely outgoing guy with zero separation anxiety, and yet when we get to the preschool door he hides his face against my legs and is reluctant to go in. Learn how your comment data is processed. Would it help my daughter if she went to a bigger preschool,with more children so that she gets more involved and would actually like going there or is it simply too early to tell. My child was crying every day going in, due to some other reasons I decided to interview at some other pre-schools and noticed that my child wasn't upset at all. Shes quite attached to me. She knows us, knows about the preschool, and told me that I had to be absolutely certain I was doing the right thing and convey this to my son. ", The Park Slope Parents Guide to Finding an After School Nanny/ After School Babysitter. 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